i need to find a way to not be so sad anymore. it’s not okay to rely so heavily on someone else for my happiness.
i hope he knows that every time i’ve said i doubted us, i’ve never believed it myself. i’d be a fool to deny that i need him, that i love him more than i’ve ever known to love anything. this vulnerability isn’t something i would let plague me had it been for anyone but him. and it terrifies me that he constantly says he loves me because everyone who’s ever said that had always found a reason to leave me.
he’s not mine—that, i know. i can see it in his eyes when i lay in his arms. he has me in his possession, but he is not mine. i am not a lover, but merely a keeper of his company. i carry no meaning, no sentiment in my presence. but i am his—that, he knows. and he will never be mine—that, i know.
happy pi day!!!
i want to live, but not in this human skin.
i need someone to talk to
we were a sailboat
but all the ocean’s water
could not keep us afloat
we were stranded for slaughter
so far away from coast
i’m only so fixated on him because he was the one who was there to watchme fall, and now that i’m fallen and broken, I need him to be there to pick me up.